


Choices

by sauciemel



Series: Choices/Vampires of Cardiff [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1657145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sauciemel/pseuds/sauciemel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose has found her way across the parallels and back to her Doctor. The feelings she had for him haven’t changed but she isn’t so sure about The Doctor, did he still love her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of a 2 Part Story

Rose stretched on the sofa next to the Doctor, she loved little moments like this, when they were alone on the TARDIS, he let his guard down more. He had took his suit jacket and tie off, undone a few of the buttons on his shirt, you could see a hint of chest hair. The Doctor was watching this alien sitcom about twins, Rose couldn’t follow it; the Doctor had tried to explain but gave up. 

Rose watched as he laughed at the funny parts, he was so relaxed. 

They had been through a lot together. 

Rose had been lost to the Doctor, stuck on a Parallel world for 3 years, the Doctor had met some new friends in that time, Martha, who she now knew had, had a thing for the Doctor but was now over him, was even engaged to someone, then there was Donna Noble, she was the woman who had saved the whole of creation, it had almost broken the Doctor when he had to wipe her mind, as Wilfred had said, she was better with the Doctor. Then Rose had come back to him, she had crossed so many Parallel worlds to find him.

She knew that they would have to talk about their feelings soon, but the Doctor was just getting himself back to normal after everything that happened with Donna and his other self. 

So they had spent the last month relaxing, they had gone to a beach planet, then an ice world, the Doctor wanted to show her the dancing Glaciers, then they had finally gone to Barcelona ( _the planet not the city_ ) and the Doctor went around telling his dog with no noses joke. 

Then they had seen some places on Earth, castles and stuff, they had laughed and joked, but they never spoke about what Rose had said to him when she was ripped away from him.

She thought that maybe he didn’t feel the same way now, it had been three years, she still loved him, in fact loved him more now. But if he wanted nothing more than her friendship that is what he would have.

\---

The programme finished and the Doctor looked over at Rose who had fallen asleep. 

He smiled to himself, this past month had been bliss for him, sharing all the places he loved and had never taken anyone to, he knew he wanted to share it all with Rose, they hadn’t spoken about the day she had been torn from this world, he had almost said those words but the gap had closed, he hadn’t really had time to ponder on it as Donna had been thrust into his life, 

But afterwards he broke down for days, the TARDIS had been worried for him, but as always he pulled himself up and got on with it, then Martha had come into his life, he knew she had feelings for him but just brushed them off, then when he was human he had fallen for Joan Redfern and not Martha, then the Master happened and that changed Martha forever.

The Doctor then found Astrid Peth who was alone in the world like him, she had asked to go travelling with him and he said yes, 

She sacrificed herself to save the others 

The Doctor then found Donna again, that had been good for him, she was his best friend, then Jenny, that had been a shock, born a soldier, but TimeLord at heart, she too sacrificed herself for the Doctor and died in his arms, 

Then Rose had come back to him and he lost Donna. 

That had been the push too far and he did break down again, 

Rose had tried to help him, but he locked himself away for a few days, then he took her to all his favourite places, well almost, he could never take her to his ultimate favourite place, Gallifrey. He hadn’t even been back to constellation of Kasterberous since the fall of his home. 

Rose stirred in her sleep, she mumbled his name. 

The Doctor looked at her, she was dreaming about him. He smiled. He walked over and knelt down beside her, and then he leant in and whispered in her ear. “Rose.”

Rose turned her head as he spoke and their lips were millimetres apart. The Doctor didn’t move. “Rose.” he spoke a little louder. 

“Mmmm” mumbled Rose.

“It’s time for bed.”

“Mmm bed sounds nice, with you?” Rose was still asleep.

The Doctor could feel her breath on his lips, he so wanted to kiss her at that moment, but he held back, he couldn’t open his hearts to her at the moment as they still hurt. 

“Rose” he moved back this time and spoke louder.

Rose opened her eyes and looked at the Doctor knelt beside her, “Sorry must of dozed off.”

“Yeah, well its late now time for you to hit the hay.”

“Ok, you gonna get some rest tonight?”

“Maybe, see how I feel, but you need sleep so come on bed.”

“Ok, am going” Rose got herself up from the sofa. Then she kissed him on the cheek bid him goodnight and went to her bedroom.

\---

The Doctor watched Rose, he loved her he really did, but he had closed his hearts off when lost her, Martha, Astrid and even Donna tried to break down his barriers but they failed, Rose had broken through them once before, but did she still want him as much, she could have changed her mind when she had been on that Parallel world, he knew they needed to talk but was he ready to let his guard down fully and love fully again? Only time would tell.

\---

The Doctor had decided to do some sorting out in the TARDIS library; he hadn’t done this for at least 200 years. 

Rose had slept well that night and had found him in the library; she brought a mug of tea for him. “Ahem, cuppa?” 

The Doctor looked over a stack of books in front of him, he stood up, his glasses at the end of his nose, his hair covered in dust, “Love one thanks” he bounced over to her, took the cup, and took a sip. “Perfect as always.”

Rose smiled, “So what is the plan today?”

“Erm, hadn’t really thought of any, well I had but I don’t know if we…I mean me ….you know I don’t know if am ready yet.”

“It’s ok Doctor, I am not going anywhere, and I mean that, you won’t lose me again.”

“You can’t be sure of that Rose, I can’t even be sure of that.”

“Isn’t that all the more reason to take the final step, live each day to the full?”

“Rose….I… I don’t know if I can do that…”

“Doctor answer me one question for today.”

“I will try.”

“You remember that day in Norway, the first time.” 

The Doctor nodded. 

“I told you something and you were going to say something back only you never got the chance to, and you still haven’t, so answer me this, what were you going to say?”

“Rose, do I need to say it?”

“Yes I need to hear it.”

“I said Rose Tyler…”

“And how was it going to end.”

“Rose, I can’t…I …” the Doctor wanted to say it so much, but the way he saw it, every time he let someone get too close to him they were taken away from him, this was his curse as the last of the TimeLords to live a long lonely life. “Rose please, I can’t say it I just can’t…not yet.” 

Rose looked at the tears in the Doctor’s eyes, he was fighting something deep inside himself, and he wouldn’t let her in to help him. It was killing her inside, but she knew not to push him. “It’s ok Doctor, it can wait, like I said I am not going anywhere.”

“Thank you Rose…,” the Doctor turned and headed back to the stack of books. He felt awful not letting Rose in, he wanted to but something deep inside him told him not too.

\---

Rose had gone to her room, cried for a bit, the Doctor couldn’t say the words to her, and maybe he didn’t love her any more, had she made the biggest mistake in coming back to him.

She hurt to her core.

\---

The Doctor had waited till Rose had left, and let a few tears fall, he knew he loved her, and he knew she loved him still, but that fear if he let her in that she would be taken away from him again was stopping him from saying it to her. Then he felt the TARDIS in his mind.

_‘Doctor, you should let her in, she is part of us’_

“I know, but what if she is taken away, even worse what if she is hurt or killed I couldn’t live with that”

_‘You are just scared to love again, you have earned the right to love again, you had to do what you did on Gallifrey, the whole of time was at stake, it was the TimeLords and the Daleks or the whole of Time, Space and Reality, you had to choose to the right path, you had expected to die with them and you have never forgiven yourself that you didn‘t.’_

“What is so special about me? I mean I’m just me, I didn’t even pass the test to fly you, then I was ill most of my childhood, was the butt of all the jokes at the academy, so why was I spared eh?” 

_‘Doctor, you were the one TimeLord who stood back and said no, that TimeLords should experience Time and Space not observe it, you have saved the universe so many times, you must know now that you were chosen to live on because of what you did.’_

“Maybe but how can I tell Rose that I am scared to love her in case she is taken from me.”

_‘You just have to be truthful with her, Doctor, I shouldn’t tell you this but Rose thinks you don’t love her, she thinks that she has made a mistake in coming back to you.’_

“Really? No! Your right I have to tell her, but what if…,”

_‘Doctor just tell her, take a chance on Rose, she has sacrificed everything to find you again and she deserves to know what is stopping you’_

“I want to but I don’t know if I can say it.”

_‘I have faith in you; I will help you as I always do my TimeLord, but you must tell her.’_

“Ok I will.” the Doctor had finally made up his mind, now he just had to say it to her.

\--- 

Rose was curled up on her bed, she had shoved her clothes into her backpack, she had decided to give the Doctor some space to think, she would ask him to take her to Jack and he could help her until the Doctor could talk to her. It was at that moment that Rose heard a tap on the door.

She quickly wiped her eyes, got up, and went to the door.

She opened it and The Doctor stood there, he had puffy red eyes like he had been crying. He still had his glasses on and his hair was still covered in dust.

“Yes Doctor?” Rose found her voice.

“Erm yes….erm could I come in?”

“Sure” Rose stepped back as the Doctor entered the room, she closed the door and crossed over to the bed.

The Doctor leant back against the door, crossed his legs at his ankles and folded his arms. Then he noticed Rose’s backpack on the bed. “You going somewhere?”

Rose looked at him and then the backpack. “Well I thought maybe you needed some space so I was going to ask you to take me to see Jack for a bit.”

“You want to leave?”

“Doctor, you are fighting inside, I don’t know what to do, you have shut me out, I think ….”

“Rose listen I am so sorry, I shouldn’t shut you out, it’s just, that…...” he looked at Rose.

“See, one time you would of just said it, you can’t even do that anymore, I told you I loved you, then I crossed worlds to find you and you shut me out, I think it’s best if I go, I mean you don’t love me back”

“Rose, listen to me, I have to tell you, if you want to go I won’t stop you but………… When you were taken from me I broke down I locked myself away, I came back but l locked my hearts up, you had the key. Martha tried, even Donna, Jenny did too, then you came back and I had gotten use to locking those feelings away, I just feel that…., if I say how I feel I will lose you again, I almost destroyed Martha’s life because she had feelings for me, then Astrid and Jenny gave their life to save mine, then Donna, I mean every time someone gets close they are taken away and I can’t lose you again, I couldn’t live through that not a second time.” The Doctor sank to his knees at this point. 

“But if you want to go you can I will understand.” The Doctor placed his head on his knees.

“Doctor” Rose got up from the bed and knelt in front of him. “I didn’t know, it’s not your fault that all those things happened, I mean you lost me before I told you how I felt.”

The Doctor looked over the top of his knees at her. 

Rose reached out and took his glasses from him. “Doctor, we just have to take it day by day, I mean I loved you when you had big ears, then you changed I mean it scared the crap out of me, but I managed to see past it and here I am, still madly in love with you, but I need you to let me in and help you like before.”

“I know Rose but …... I am scared to, I don’t want anything to happen to you”

“Doctor, you need to let some of that emotion out, you have kept it locked up for too long,”

“I know, but what if I can’t stop it?”

“Let me help you.”

The Doctor nodded, then knew what he had to do, well three things he had to do. He stood up, and then held his hand out for Rose.

“Come with me.”

“Always,” Rose looked up at him and then took his hand

\---

He led her through the corridor to the console room. Then he turned and did his usual run around the console pressing buttons and turning this and that, 

Rose grabbed onto the rail as the TARDIS entered the vortex. Then they landed with a bump.

“Where are we?”

“Rose, there are three things I have to do, the first is this.” the Doctor cupped her face and kissed her deep, his tongue parting her lips and exploring her mouth, and then he broke it.

Rose felt like she was floating. 

“The second is to tell you the end of that sentence…”

“Doctor you…”

The Doctor put his finger on her lips. “Rose Tyler, I love you, always have always will.” 

“I love you too Doctor,” Rose felt tears in her eyes, “What’s the third thing?”

“Well that is something I have to show you, I haven’t been back here since the end of the War.”

“Gallifrey?”

“No, that is lost, I can’t go there, but I can go to the nearest planet in constellation of Kasterberous well the only remaining planet its name in English is Beloved Star.”

“That is a lovely name.”

“It’s on the outer rim of Kasterberous, it isn’t as beautiful as Gallifrey but it has the same sky and grass as Gallifrey.”

“You sure you want to do this?”

“I need to, I need to move on.”

“Ok together.”

\---

The Doctor showed Rose the small valley of the deep purple sea, the planet only had one moon, but the twin suns were still there, the Doctor and Rose sat on the red grass as the Doctor named the stars from his home, he cried for the first time in front of her, she held him as he spoke about his 2 sons and youngest daughter, how they had been killed in the early stages of the war, how he had stood and watched his friends die around him, then he stood and watched as the war changed the one time peaceful people into monsters they were going to end time itself and become gods, which couldn’t happen and the Doctor made it happen, he stood and watched the woman who had his children stand against him and he made the choice fully expecting to die in the process.

“Doctor, you did the right thing, you couldn’t let them turn into gods, and you told me what could have happened to you when you took the vortex out of me.”

“I know, but why was I spared?”

“That is simple my lord.” came a voice from behind them

The Doctor jumped up. 

There was a man stood a few metres away.

“You do not need to be afraid Theta Sigma.”

“Who?” Rose looked at Doctor confused.

“That’s what they called me in the academy. Who are you, you’re not a TimeLord?”

“No I am not, but you are Thete.”

“I don’t use any of those names now.”

Rose stood up next to the Doctor.

“I know, I was shown that you are the Doctor, you were the only TimeLord who decided to go out and see the stars, live amongst them not watch from above” 

“I know, I was banished because I did, then they used me to do their dirty work.”

“Yes I know, but it was all written in the stars the day you were born, even the name your mother gave you, your true name.”

“Don’t, you can’t say it.”

“Why not?”

“Miss Tyler, the only time a TimeLord reveals his one true name is when he is dying and it can only be heard to the one he is bonded with.”

“Doctor you said River knew your name.”

“I know, but that is in the future and the future can be rewritten, the past cant.”

“Doctor, you were spared for a reason, I chose to save you, a mind like yours couldn’t be lost and you will live forever.”

“So you cursed me?”

“No, I chose you to be the protector of worlds.”

“Funny someone else calls me the destroyer of worlds.”

“Davros.”

“So you know all about me?”

“Yes I do, I also know about your future, the one with Rose.”

“We have a future?”

“Yes, as the Doctor said though the future can be rewritten, you two have taken the first step in the right direction.”

“Who are you?” 

“Doctor, I am the Keeper of the Keys.”

“You’re just a bedtime story.”

“Doctor. Does he look like one?” Rose said

“I know that is what you are told when you were young.”

“So what is the story?” Rose looked at them both,

“Doctor, you know your true path now, you can’t return here once you leave, and I will be gone to, I only reveal myself once.”

“I understand and I thank you for choosing me, I will try to honour it.”

“You shall Doctor you and your children and their children, Gallifrey will live on in you and your Children of Time.” then the man faded away.

“Ok what just happened?” Rose was confused now

“That is one of the gods of Gallifrey; we are told the story just before we enter the academy.”

“We just met a god?”

“I know. Listen lets go back in the TARDIS and I will tell you the story.”

“Oh I love a good story.”

\---

The Doctor and Rose were curled up on the sofa. “Ok the story goes that the Keeper of the Keys holds the key to the rescue of the universe, that one day a man will stand against his peers and turn his back on them. That man then goes on to save the people from themselves and become the defender of time, and that the Keeper would show himself to that person once. Everyone wanted to be that defender”

“Doctor you have just described yourself.”

“Really, yeah I did, never really noticed.”

“You can be thick sometimes.”

“Thanks.”

“So you were chosen to be the defender of time?”

“Looks like it, I think I was the only one who didn’t want to be the defender, I just wanted to play and help out my friends, my Dad used to hate the fact I wasn’t going to be a part of the high council like me elder brothers.”

“So you understand why you were spared now?”

“A little yes, but it will unfold as time goes on I am just happy I have you now, and I am not letting you go.”

“Good because I am not going anywhere”

Rose kissed the Doctor. 

They broke the kiss when there was a telephone ringing. “Best get that.” The Doctor said.

“Ok.” 

They both got up and headed for the console room.

The Doctor picked the mobile up

“Hello?”

_“Doctor, its Jack, we have a problem.”_

“Don’t you ever ring just to chat, it’s always a problem.”

_“Doctor, we have Vampires roaming around Cardiff.”_

“Vampires, real ones?”

_“Doctor,”_

“Ok am on my way,”

“Did I just hear right? Vampires?”

“Yup, let’s go help”

“Well you are the Defender of Time.”

“Yes I am and you are the companion and lover of the Defender of Time.”

“Oh I like that,” Rose went and stood by the Doctor “Let’s go defend the Earth together.” 

To Be Concluded in VAMPIRES IN CARDIFF 


End file.
